Knee to Knee Conversation:
When a couple comes in for counseling, I like to get them connected with each other. The sex life can be dependent on how connected the wife feels toward the husband. They say that “sex begins in the kitchen.” Not really but if the wife feels loved and connected to her husband then the atmosphere for sex is right.
One of the exercises that I like to do is have them sit on the couch Knee to Knee and talk. Often, they feel disconnected from each other. When they give each other time, even if it is only 10-20 minutes they can feel connected with each other.
One will begin to share and the other has to listen to them. If they struggle with talking too much they can set a timer so that they are conscious of keeping is short. Maybe start with 5 minutes each.
Often a person will not listen well. He or she my only hear the first sentence and be thinking of what they are going to say so they don’t hear all that the person said. Practice your listening skills. Wait until the person is completely done before thinking about how you will respond.
The goal is to share with each other what happen during the day, their frustrations and encouragements that they have encountered. When they get really good at the daily things then they can start sharing their hopes and dreams with each other. Be connected.