It has been over a month and everytime I wake up, the first thing I think about is my brother Brad. I picture what he did and the trauma of it all. My spirit is not at rest. I wish it would pass.
Another of my thought is in the book “Be in Health” and I am in the section of Fear, Stress & Physiology. I get it that fear is bad. I am a therapist so I know that we have to process things and give things to God so we don’t have the ramifications of fear on our body. Page 195 says The antidote to fear is fellowship with the Godhead. 2 Timothy 1:7, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love and sound mind.” Wright says Power represents the Holy Spirit, love represents the love of the Father and a sound mind represents the Word of God, Jesus. He says you can only see it if you understand the spiritual aspect from a biblical perspective. So I am going to ponder the biblical perspective.
Everyone has a choice on how to live. We can accept God’s gift of salvation and be obedient to him. Or we can not accept the salvation, the hope of heaven and a life now with Jesus. I am not going to guess or presume I know where Brad is. At this point it really doesn’t matter. It doesn’t really matter what we think or believe. It will be what God says it is.
Again I go back to my loss. I lost a brother. He was far from perfect. Among other things he was an alcoholic. I had been challanged lately too work on my relationship with him. He was on my OIKOS list. I feel like this is just one more person that God has taken away from me.
My thoughts go to Linda and her dying March 2, 2017. One of the things that I have realized over the last year is that instead of searching for a replacement, he wants me to run to him. God wants me to run to him for the love that I so desire. As I read the Word of God, Jesus, truth will be given. The Holy Spirit helps me on a daily basis to live this life as God wants me to.
So I guess the answer to all of this is, yes there is going to be a time of grieving. But when those waves come, I can run to the Father in heaven for my comfort. I don’t have to fear because I have him. That makes me smile.