Today I am reading about Victimization in A MORE EXCELLENT WAY by Wright. His definition of codependency is calling evil good in the name of love. You can love someone who has evil, but you do not have to be a victim. You can still love your parents, but you do not have to be victimized by the sin through them. God is calling us to peace. But not torment. Seperated yourself from the evil. Give those who have wronged you to the Lord; you do not have to fix them. God did not design victimization to be part of our lives. The Bible says, As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
As I read this book, and dwell on my bitterness and unforgiveness, this really helps. We are often victimized. Sometimes it is abuse in marriage. There is abuse of children by bad parents. It could be just selfishness in friendships. Or it could be dishonesty & abuse in the work place. Where ever it is, we have choices. We do not have to stay in that situation. If we can’t forgive and love as God instructs; if we can not have peace (Romans 12:18) we need to leave the situation. Sometimes it means to get a different job. Sometimes it is putting boundaries up to keep yourself safe. As we keep ourselves safe, we can find peace. Remember to give that person to God to handle and love anyway. Very hard but God is saying it is possible. There is hope.